nottydave

29 Dec 2009, 4:54PM

My twat of a cat got himself stuck up a tree so I went down to the local fire station, sheepishly, to see what they reckoned. There was no-one there, must have been out on a shout. Went home again and the twat of a cat managed, with a little help, to get out of the tree.

Fmintak

17 Dec 2009, 12:57PM

The BBC appear to have fallen foul of RATM's strict policy of not doing what you tell them. They should have employed cunning reverse psychology and specifically requested they leave the swears in.

Traces

11 Dec 2009, 2:06PM

Would everyone not be better putting all those 79p's together and putting a hit out on Simon Cowell? Could prob get a really decent contract killer for that dough.

sbuck 12/08/2009 13:58 edit

There once was a time when I would’ve gladly given Lilo a high protein facial glaze. After seeing these pics, suddenly I am not interested…

bluedaddy

23 Nov 2009, 12:14PM

"I know lots of people who love music want us to.

The Guardian have misquoted Bono . You missed the fuck off from the end of that sentence.

scaryduck

12 Nov 2009, 8:46AM

I'd pay money not to read Littlejohn. A one-off payment of fifty quid sounds fair, and will go toward paying for a one-way trip in a Soyuz space capsule.

#86. kiraburu - Today 20:54

FUCK MAGNETIC SHIT MAN, i dont see the improvement.-

Mikeydoollee

01 Nov 09, 10:29am (about 7 hours ago)

A couple of years ago, I was standing on my balcony in Dalston having a beer. I overlook alot of the terrible, terrible clubs and bars we have 'round here. You know, a car stalls at the lights and someone with a truckload of no-name french lager pulls up, puts on a compilation album and calls it a bar, probably called "Car Superstore, or some crap." Then a bus of rejected applicants from Central Saint Martins rocks up and barfs on it, while pretending to be gay so they can get in.

13:46 October 9, 2009 by himilo

he is first african american president in the United stastes of America in the history so that he deserves to get Nobel peace prize!

portion

18 Sep 09, 10:15pm (6 minutes ago)

I hope C4 has some very good insurance cos if i don't get unglued any time soon theres gonna be trouble.. The cats gonna starve, i'm gonna miss the paper version of Saturday Guardian and i'm not gonna be able to go buy a lotto ticket which after some deep maths i was banking on winning this weekend......

16:04 September 18, 2009 by ironman294

i thought green dildo was what you call guys who are environmental nuts

lostindenmark

06 Aug 09, 1:41am (about 6 hours ago)

Cue a shock-horror Daily Mail article about how Broken Britains kids are so socially backward and illiterate that they can't even Tweet or use Arsebook...

39steps

31 Jul 09, 5:13pm (about 2 hours ago)

Idiots! If you park illegally on on private property you desreve to be clamped and more. Why do you odious cretins believe other peoples property belongs to you?

MrPikeBishop

26 Jun 09, 12:56pm (about 2 hours ago)

Just seen the first leaked medical report - apparantly he was suffering from a heavy flu-like illness and one theory is that he may have choked on inhaled dried mucus - however, other doctors say it's too soon to blame it on the bogey.

06:24 May 13, 2009 by peropaco

One thing the Swedis authority is good at is collecting money. Catching real criminals, rapist is a no no. They lack the brain and basic intelligence to pull it off. Dumb aholes. 

tristo1987 (18 hours ago)  

 0  

Reply | Spam

thats the funniest thing i've ever seen this guy is an absolut IDIOT I WISH THE LAST BEE HE GOT OUT OF THE HONEYCOMB STUNG HIM 2. PS I THINk UR ALLERGIC 2 BEES U DUMB SWOLLEN FACE CUNT

I don't really care if you prefer PCs or Macs, but just realize only communist faggots use Macs.

WEEEE!

12 Jul 08:32